Beloved, as we were praying for you and so desiring to hear from G-d something that you would need right now to encourage your heart or that it would be a confirmation for what you are already receiving from G-d, this memory came back to me. Something that I had experienced years ago and sadly forgot. But G-d in His goodness brought it back to me during my prayers for you. I had gone through one of those seasons of deep hurt, feeling rejected by those I held dear. But the worst of it was that woundedness effected my relationship with G-d and I couldn’t seem to understand why. I had forgiven those who wounded me, I interceded for them daily and even received words from the Lord for them and faithfully delivered those words of encouragement. To serve & be a blessing to them. But I still couldn’t find the bliss point with G-d in my prayer time.
In deep brokenness I cried out to G-d to reveal what was amiss within me. What came startled me. I was aware that the Lord wanted me to be covered in a way that I hadn’t known before. I saw with the eyes of my spirit a gossamer veil draping over my head covering my shoulders and back but leaving my heart open to G-d. The gossamer veil seemed living, breathing and it was made known to me that it was Wisdom from the Book of Proverbs. I sensed that G-d needed to do a work in my life concerning His Wisdom being forefront in my relationships with others, to protect me from foolishness. I knew I needed a greater reverence, fear of the Lord in order to make space for the Wisdom of G-d to work in and through me, and that having a greater reverence toward G-d would draw me closer to Him.
I then felt led to go to 1 Cor 11:10. I read the Amplified Classic version of the bible and it said…”Therefore she should [be subject to his (her husbands) authority and should] have a covering on her head [as a token, a symbol, of her submission to authority, that she may show reverence as do] the angels [and not displease them or offend them]”.
We have all read many times about women covering their heads as a cultural element dating back to biblical times and how they differentiated women of piety from women with loose morals who let their hair down, uncovered. And we have been taught that these coverings just weren’t necessary now in our culture. I started to dismiss the leading when my eyes fixed on one statement I couldn’t get by: as a token, a symbol, of her submission to authority, that she may show reverence as do the angels [and not displease them or offend them].
I’ve never been into angels and felt that angels were a slippery slope, fearful that I could get caught up inadvertently with angel worship etc. I avoid thinking deeply about angels. I pray the word of G-d and prayerfully ask for the angels of G-d to heed and obey G-d’s word as it says from Psalm 103:20-21 (Ampc) 20 Bless (affectionately, gratefully praise) the Lord, you His angels, you mighty ones who do His commandments, hearkening to the voice of His word. 21 Bless (affectionately, gratefully praise) the Lord, all you His hosts, you His ministers who do His pleasure.
So I do pray for His angels to minister to me as an heir of His salvation as it says in Hebrews 1:14 (Ampc) 14 Are not the angels all ministering spirits (servants) sent out in the service [of God for the assistance] of those who are to inherit salvation?
And that’s as far as my thoughts about angels go. But when that scripture from 1 Cor. 11 came, I couldn’t shake it. The angels have such reverence, such perfection of submission for the Purity and Holiness of G-d that they cannot comprehend why my lifestyle doesn’t reflect that depth of honor, awe and submission to G-d as theirs do. I knew then that this wasn’t just my Submission to G-d in all things, or about a covering over my head, but something lacking in my heart concerning the sacred awe and holy wonder of my attitude and lifestyle towards G-d. And that, according to this scripture, the angels were watching my expression of reverence, or lack thereof, to G-d as well.
As I prayed further into this area of my life I was suddenly very aware of the level of fear operating in my life, especially in my time of woundedness. I felt vulnerable, uncovered as it were, and I was protecting myself diligently. I was definitely struggling with control issues because of the fear. Fear and not trust was operating in my life and it was effecting my relationship with G-d. As I prayed to repair this issue with G-d, I saw a prayer shawl with G-d’s Truth printed on it. Truth that would cover me as I prayed and would stay within me on my journey with Him. The scripture words were:
I am Holy, Chosen & Dearly Loved, I am Protected & Blessed, I am the daughter/son of The King, I am in the Reverential Worship of My Lord, I am Shrouded in Godly Wisdom & Nobility of Heart, My Honor comes from My Humility, I am My Beloved’s & He is Mine, I have Chosen the Good Portion & it will Not be taken from Me, I am Restoring the Sacred in My Life, I am Free & I am being Guided
…because of the Angels 1 Cor. 11:10
These statements came in prayer as what G-d was saying over my life and what He desired to do in my heart and what was needed to restore the sacred to my heart. These statements came as I prayed for others to be restored, because I knew I needed G-d’s Word to restore me. We know we are all called to “pray for one another that you may be healed” as James 5:16 says is our mandate, right? And I do use my own plight(s) in life as an igniter to move me to pray for faceless, nameless believers who are struggling as I am. Praying about my own needs, and praying for others who have the same issues that I have. My testimony concerning James 5:16 has been every time I pray for others who are going through the miseries I find myself in, I have always received a Word from G-d for myself. The Word of G-d is Powerful and living it will cause all His Goodness to come to you because you are others minded. Pray selflessly for others and you will receive from Him for yourself.
Later, after receiving this highlighted statement I shared above from the Lord, I shared it with Peter, my husband. Peter was led by the Lord to have the shawl made for me, a prayer shawl to bring G-d’s restoration of the sacred back to my heart. It is my testimony now of the depth of covering I feel from G-d as I pray each day with the Prayer shawl covering me. Call it a prophetic activation. All I know is that my intimacy with the Lord and my holy trust in Him has been deeply healed, tenderly restored and on levels I didn’t know I was lacking. I have experienced the verse from Isaiah 61:10 in such a deep way…”I will greatly rejoice in the Lord, my soul will exult in my God; for He has clothed me with the garments of salvation, He has covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decks himself with a garland, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
Also this experience greatly impacted my reverence towards G-d. I knew that He was a consuming fire as it says Heb 12: 28-29 “Let us therefore, receiving a kingdom that is firm and stable and cannot be shaken, offer to God pleasing service and acceptable worship, with modesty and pious care and godly fear and awe; 29 For our God [is indeed] a consuming fire”.
But “knowing” that I was being watched as it were by Holy Beings, Angels, who I knew worshiped G-d so perfectly, changed me deeply. I have so many women ask me why I don’t spell out the name of G-d. It’s a personal thing. I don’t feel anyone else needs to do this. It’s just something between me and my Father. It came out of this time in my life…this painful time I shared above. G-d stepped in and turned something so painful into something so rich, sacred and restorative to me. And it also caused me to grow in the fear of the Lord. I so desire to be a woman who reverences G-d to the uttermost, to receive His Wisdom, as it says in Prov. 9:10. To hold Him in my heart with the highest of respect, honor, awe, and wonder. To keep the mystery of G-d alive within me. That I don’t fall into feeling so familiar with Him. He is my Father, but He is also My King, over all kings. He is a consuming fire, and it’s only because of Jesus, My Beloved fire wall, am I not consumed.
Since my encounter with 1 Cor. 11:10, and how deeply the Word of G-d awakened me to the reality of the need for a greater reverence of G-d in my life, G-d has poured back into me the intimacy I once knew and 100 fold more than I had with Him before. And I know His love for me on a whole new level. I believe because He caused me to reverence Him like this, He also blessed me with a greater awareness of His love for me. I feel the more I reverenced Him, the more He has blessed me with letting me experience His love and delight in me. I know in my knower that He loves the stuffing out of me.
Beloved, today I knew I was praying for other women who have gone through this same woundedness and how it has affected their intimacy with G-d, as it had with mine. Perhaps you are struggling to enter into your prayer time with G-d and can’t figure out why either. Maybe you can trace it back to a wounding that knocked you off your mooring with G-d as well. Begin to pray and ask G-d if this is an area where He desires to Restore the Sacred in your life as well, to have you experience the sense of His Love covering you and your life again.
At one time we were selling these shawls through our ministry, One Heart Ministries, and the testimonies of the ladies who bought a shawl and used the prayer that I offered as a suggestion, a spring board to start their own restoration of the sacred proved to be fruitful in lives. I’ve included the sample prayer below. I believe G-d desires to bless all His children with this awareness that they are Covered by Him again.
Know that I am praying for you to receive this refreshing in your journey as well.
