Beloved, recently as I was seeking the Lord about several trials, we have been experiencing I had a strong impression in my heart that the Lord was like a flowing, living, golden oil, like a mighty river flowing past me of Pure Oil, Golden Amber, pristine…and I had such a yearning to dive into to all that G-d was doing.
I was so aware that G-d was moving, G-d is always at work, and it was such an intense knowing and my heart ached to join Him in where He was going. But suddenly I knew I couldn’t join Him…because so much of me was “water” per se… I had the impression that He is so beautifully Pure Oil, and I was a mix, let’s say for illustration purposes: 80 % oil and 20% water and that to join Him in what He was doing I needed to be free of the water.
As I started praying into this image, I asked the Lord how I could join Him…my heart was breaking and tears were flowing…I sensed His Heart…I was aware that my heart, my words, were not in complete agreement with Him.
Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?
Amos 3:3 NKJV
Due to the recent trials I have been going through, I had been giving into fear so greatly. Like the pounding waves from a storm at sea, the waves of trials were eroding my resolve, and my awareness of G-d’s Presence and His love for me. The absence of this daily intentional mindset, daily thinking on G-d’s Presence and love for you will leave a void for fear to come and fill. So, I found myself bracing for the next bad report. The next crisis. Slowly I was giving into the voice of fear. It was an everyday occurrence, sometimes an hourly battle for my heart and mind. The scripture that seemed to repeatedly flash before my eyes was,
And you are now her (Sarah’s) true daughters if you do right and let nothing terrify you [not giving way to hysterical fears or letting anxieties unnerve you].
1 Peter 3:6…
From what I sensed G-d speaking to my heart through His Word, I needed to be One with Him, complete agreement, to truly flow with Him from my heart. I needed the abundance of my heart to be speaking the Word in confidence. It was for my own safety that I wasn’t flowing in the movement of G-d. If I had waded out into deeper flow with the Lord, the enemy could have taken further advantage.
I knew the Lord was aware of my struggle, my longing to join Him…my heart ached that I was being left behind while The One I so Loved, was active and flowing and here I sat on the side lines, as it were. I made it my fierce commitment to stop letting fear get the upper hand. I was determined to meditate on the Word day and night and only answer according to the Word of G-d…to say “No” to the fearful thoughts and come into oneness with Him through His Word. If I was to be fit to join Him, I needed to be soaked and saturated in the Word from my heart to my lips.
I knew enough to know that His grace was and is present to enable me to do this. And that I also needed to step out in faith, faith without the leap, isn’t really faith. Faith isn’t real faith until it’s tested. So, I needed to change my actions to align with my intentions. I couldn’t be double minded and unstable. I sensed it was an absolute that I had to be One with G-d, one with His Word, one within myself and one with others as in community, no unforgiveness, no division. The totality of a Holy Oneness…from my heart.
For any of this to work, I had to meditate upon His Love for me. I had to soak the Word in Love, to Love the Word and let it enter my heart, carried into my heart by the beauty of Love. So, while I meditated upon the Word, I submerged the Word in Love, as you might eat a plate of your favorite food. I wanted to take in all the nutrients of the Word. And the only way I knew to do this was to open my heart to the feelings of Love and let the Word come in with it…I sensed the cold fears dissolving in the fiery warmth of Love mixing with the Word. I felt the stir that faith in the Word, faith in G-d brings, that nothing is impossible for G-d and nothing was impossible for them that truly believed, were convinced in the veracity of the One Who promises.
This has become a daily practice…I’m not kidding myself; I do realize that in these latter days, fear abounds, and that the enemy has been emboldened in its attempts to dissuade all of us from pressing into the calling upon each of our lives. And I am so very aware that there are only 2 true types of emotions: Love and Fear and all other emotions stem from these 2. Out of Love comes all of the Fruit of the Holy Spirit (Gal 5: Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control – trust, contentment, these are just all the attributes of one emotion which is Love.) And the multi-faceted expressions of fear are anger, hatred, anxiety, guilt, inadequacy, depression, confusion, bitterness, rage, etc. And the most often made statement by Jesus was Do not fear…Perfect Love casts out fear…Those who fear have not been perfected in Love… (1 John 4:17,18).
Beloved, I sense we are all to whatever degree in this place of being beckoned to join the Lord in what He is doing. Signs and wonders, fruitfulness on so many different levels…but without being one with Him. As Jesus was, He said he could do nothing apart from the Father and that we too could do nothing apart from Him. We need to be one with Him in our hearts, in the abundance of our hearts our mouths speak. When the lost see us, do they hear Him? I am not there yet, but I know what direction I am headed in and I am committed to making the Word the priority. To meditate on it night and day so that I can be successful in all that He has planned for me…Know that I am here beloved…praying the same things for you and for all those you love…
How has G-d been speaking to you about changes you want to make in your life? I love to compare notes with you! Let me know!
You are continually in my prayers and forever in my heart.
